Crossroads
by Darkly Dreaming
Summary: Penny catches Sheldon after a particularly stressful day doing something she never thought he would.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Obviously this is not canon. If I even have to say that anymore, y'all just need to stop.

* * *

Sheldon was stressed. More stressed than he'd been in years. In fact, it was for the same reason, too.

He was losing funding. He hadn't produced any difinitive results in over a year, so they were cutting back and giving the money meant for him to a "promising young mind" with a different theory.

His position at Cal-Tech was secure, but he couldn't continue his research without that money. The small donations from faculty fundraisers and the pittance they paid him to occasionally teach these labradoodles were the only things keeping his work afloat.

Of course, he could always pack up, move away, and get another job at another college that would fund him, but he found that option distasteful and viewed it as a last resort.

On the way home that evening - or as he preferred to refer to it, 'prevening' - he made Leonard stop at a convenience store for his proven stress relievers. Yoohoo and a secret indulgence he has never told anyone about. He hid this from Leonard and used the Yoohoo as a decoy distraction.

When they got home Sheldon immediately turned on Fallout: New Vegas. Not much of a relaxant, but it was somewhat cathartic to hunt deathclaws on hardcore mode with nothing but the Desert Ranger armor and a shotgun. Unfortunately, he found the legendary deathclaw. Rather, the legendary deathclaw found him without ammo. It took tremendous force of will on Sheldon's part not to throw the xBox controller across the room. Instead, he took a deep breath, unclenched his shaking fist, and walked out the door.

When he reached the roof he propped the door open with a brick and took out the Marlboros he'd hidden from Leonard and packed them til his hand matched the red of the top. He flipped the lucky and pulled out the far right. The first drag was always the best.

He leaned a hip against the brick and inhaled deeply, relishing the flavor as well as the burn. He didn't smoke often, so his lungs weren't used to it, but he suppressed the urge to cough and simply enjoyed his momentary reprieve.

A knock at the rooftop door made him flick the half-smoked cigarette off toward the street below. He sighed at the loss.

"Hey, sweetie," Penny greeted timidly. He didn't turn or acknowledge her presence. She stood next to him and bent so she could cross her arms on the ledge. "Leonard told me about you losing your funding. You ok?"

Sheldon was silent a moment, debating. He finally decided to let someone in on his secret. Mostly because the half cigarette wasn't nearly enough, but also because he trusted Penny to keep her mouth shut about it. He pulled out the second cigarette on the right and lit it, turning his back to the ledge.

"I will be fine. I will find a way to fix things. I always do."

Penny was beyond shocked, but kept her reaction to herself. He didn't need her exclamations, he needed her support. "Wanna talk about it?"

"Not particularly." Deep inhalation, slow exhalation. Penny was mesmerized. And not just by Sheldon's hand, mouth, and chest. She used to smoke as a teenager, but stopped when she learned it stunted growth. _Well, I'm all grown now. Worse case scenario I get cancer or something._ "Got another?"

Sheldon looked at her for the first time that day, but she was focused on his cigarette. _Who knew Penny was a smoker?_ He pulled the pack from his back pocket and the lighter from the front. The look of pure bliss on Penny's face was something for which he was unprepared. The words that poured from his mouth were involuntary.

"I have not produced any viable evidence for any of my theories in the last few years," he confessed quietly, but angrily. "The grants I have received previously are being revoked and given to other, younger minds with more exotic theories than I. Only my salary, savings, and the donations of rich old biddies allow me to continue some. For now."

"I've been thinking about moving," Penny murmured. This took him aback. The shock must've shown on his face, because she elaborated. "I work a dead end job as a waitress trying to make it as an actress, which clearly isn't happening." A smooth drag from her cigarette and a flutter of eyelids. "I've been thinking a fresh start in New York."

Sheldon was conflicted. While a fresh start in New York would no doubt be good for her self esteem and career, he couldn't help but feel...hurt.

She glanced up to see he was staring intently at her, with an almost sad look in his eyes. The rest of his face was passive, but that glimmer in his eyes betrayed him. "Y'know...they have colleges in New York. Surely one of them would fund your research. And...I could use a trustworthy roommate." She took a final hit from her cigarette and snuffed it on the ledge. Sheldon followed suit, but mindful of littering he rolled the cherry off and threw the butt in the bucket by the door used for such purposes.

"Indeed."

~*DD*~*DD*~*DD*~

Two weeks later, after so much planning her head was spinning, Penny and Sheldon said goodbye to their friends and boarded a plane for New York.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Some people expressed difficulty in imagining Sheldon ever smoking, so I thought I'd elaborate on my headfanon here. Excuse any mistakes in canon, I'm taking some liberties with timelines. I just don't feel like Googling, as it's 6am and I don't care. Enjoy this little sequel I never intended to write! PS: This only took about 45 minutes. Lol.

* * *

She waited until they were on the plane to New York to bring it up; mosty because Sheldon looked like he was about to freak out about the slight turbulence they were experiencing on takeoff.

"Hey," she poked him in the shoulder. When she had his divided attention she continued. "So...when did you take up smoking?" For her it was a fad, quickly discarded when she found out the health risks. But she was curious about how such a fastidious, health-conscious man took up such an unhealthy habit, even if it was only occasionally.

Sheldon finally gave her his full attention, the question being enough to completely distract him from the plane. He was silent a moment, reflecting. When he finally answered, it was solemnly.

"After my father passed, I came home from Germany for the funeral. After the service, George Jr. secluded himself in the barn until mom yelled at him for dinner. Once we were finished eating I followed him back to the barn. He had a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of Jack Daniels on the loft. When I confronted him he simply lied back and offered me a cigarette and a shot. Of course, I knew I was not old enough to indulge, and I knew the health risks involved with both, but Junior made an argument I couldn't refuse at the time. He said, 'Great way to let shit go. Stress...grief...anger...'" Sheldon sighed. "At the time I had felt all of those things. Stress due to my second doctorial dissertation, grief due to my father's passing, and anger at him for causing everyone so much grief. So I decided to bond with my brother and, as he put it, 'let it go.'"

During his tale, Penny had grabbed Sheldon's hand and held it loosely. Now she gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"Now I only smoke when I feel extreme anger or stress," he said. "In most cases it happens to be both."

They hadn't come very far in two weeks, but Penny decided to hug him anyway. It seemed like an appropriate time, and he had responded well to the hand holding so far. Nothing special, just a one-armed hug, cuz they were still in seat belts, but it was actually comforting.

Sheldon detested layovers, so they went for the nonstop flight, making it a five and a half hour journey. _Only five hours left_, Penny thought. _Better keep him talking if I don't want him worrying about the plane crashing._

She smiled and asked him about Snowball. That seemed interesting enough to keep him busy for an hour, at least. Then she could take out the portable dvd player and his carry-on Star Trek dvds.

While he talked, she reflected on their shotgun decision to "run away together" as Leonard had put it. He had told her that relocating had been his last resort option, but only because he would have to meet new people and go through the process of acquainting himself with strangers to find a new roommate. Rooming with Penny took care of most of his misgivings. He didn't have to look for a roommate, and he would meet everyone he needed to know at work. He was surprisingly easy to convince.

~*DD*~*DD*~DD*~

After a week of living in the dorms together, they found an apartment that was a reasonable distance from the college where he worked and she took design classes. A month of living together in close quarters had accustomed Sheldon to Penny's touch, and he no longer flinched or insisted she use Purell every five minutes.

Two weeks after that he kissed her for the first time. Three seconds after that she kissed him.

It was going to be an interesting road, and they both looked forward to the journey


End file.
